[00:00:00] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: Do you find the idea of self-promotion a bit cringe worthy, and are you constantly feeling overwhelmed at work? First up, in this week’s episode, personal branding strategist Rosie Chong explains how to share your wins authentically by focusing on value, storytelling and connection, not ego. Then, leadership coach and author of The Overachievers Reset, Fleur Marks unpacks the overachiever cycle that drives burnout and shares practical ways to reset by building awareness, setting boundaries, and redefining success. From SoundCartel, I’m Grace Jennings-Edquist, and this is Business Essentials.
Promoting yourself without feeling like a show-off
Our first guest is personal branding strategist Rosie Chong. For many professionals, promoting yourself can feel uncomfortable, even a little cringe worthy. But staying quiet can mean missed opportunities and being overlooked. So how can you share your wins and build your profile without feeling like you’re showing off? I got the interview started by asking Rosie. Why do so many capable professionals feel uncomfortable promoting themselves?
[00:01:13] Rosie Chong: I think especially in Australia, and I obviously look, I can’t speak for other countries, but I think being so prevalent or present, I guess in the Australian online community especially, is this idea of tall poppy syndrome. And so many people have been raised in a way, whether or not we do it intentionally or not, of being tear down, essentially. And because of that, you don’t want to be seen as a show pony. You don’t want to be seen as the loudest in the room because you’ll get made fun of. You’re told you’re not humble. It’s kind of become this ingrained part of Aussie culture, sadly, like being raised in Australia. And I’m sure other countries feel that as well. But I think in Australia in particular, we’re often told to, you know, stay in our lane, be humble, don’t celebrate your wins too loudly. Don’t do this, don’t do that. Don’t be too much. Don’t be too this. And I think because of that, we’re kind of inbuilt. This fear of having a personal brand or having a voice and showing up online or showing up in the workplace, and we’re almost afraid of what other people will think.
[00:02:16] Rosie Chong: So I feel like that’s where this kind of fear stems from. And I think it’s something as a creator and as a personal branding strategy, it’s something I’m just like, I’m sick of this. I don’t want it to feel like this for other people, regardless of whether they’re women, men, whatever age or gender or generation. I think it’s so systemic that it’s like, no, like, let’s celebrate people’s voices. Yes. Let’s bring in your opinion. Let’s have a discussion. Let’s not all just be sheep and say, yes, whatever you want. It’s okay to celebrate your wins. It’s okay to have a voice. It’s it’s okay to, I guess, have a little bit of a brag within reason. I mean, obviously if you’re saying like, I’m the best, I’m the best, I’m the best, and that’s it, then maybe that can be a little tiring. But it’s like, oh, I had this awesome thing. Let me teach you how I did it. Let me inspire you or let me ask my community. Let’s celebrate together. There’s no shame in celebrating a win.
[00:03:08] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: I feel like to some extent, like LinkedIn, culture does allow for that in a way that, you know, maybe ten years ago, or maybe if you were just on other social platforms, it might have felt a bit uncomfortable. But now I see people, people are saying, oh, I’m so excited to share that I got this nomination, or I’m so excited that I had this milestone and it feels like it’s more acceptable now and more the done thing.
[00:03:27] Rosie Chong: Mhm. 100%. And I think it’s kind of funny because I think being in the LinkedIn universe, I see that side. It’s such a positive space as a social media platform compared to other platforms that people are excited, they want to hype you up, they want to see you win. But then having then seen almost the commentator side of, oh, LinkedIn’s so corny, it’s so cheesy, everyone’s just saying, I won this, I got promoted, I got that, that some people think from the voyeur side of things that it’s fake and it’s inauthentic. But as someone who has been on LinkedIn for five plus years, I just love it because people are just genuinely excited for other people. And I feel like you just don’t see that as much on other channels. And I think a lot of it comes back to this lack of anonymity, because at the end of the day, LinkedIn, for most people, they’re, you know, it’s their actual name, it’s their actual workplace. They’ve got a tie to their colleagues, to their boss. It’s a little bit more exposed compared to, I think other places where you’ve just kind of got a username like Instagram or Reddit or Twitter or TikTok, where you can kind of hide behind a facade. And I think obviously, you know, every channel is going to have robots, fake profiles, scammers, whatever. But I think this element of lack of anonymity has helped build up this authenticity of excitement and celebration that I love about the platform.
[00:04:44] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: Mhm. That’s so true. So I’m wondering how can people reframe self-promotion so it feels authentic rather than ego driven.
[00:04:54] Rosie Chong: I think a lot of it is thinking about what value are you giving to an audience? So sure, you are promoted. Awesome. Let’s talk about it. But maybe the value to your audience and it doesn’t have to be that deep. It could literally be like, oh, I’m sharing a career milestone with the people in my network. It could be past colleagues, new colleagues, new workplace. You just show excitement. So that’s fine. That can be the value. If it is, I just want $1 million client and you’re a founder. Okay, cool. Some people might get a little jealous, a little envious being like, oh, I wish that was me, but perhaps it could be I just want $1 million client. But after ten years of them saying, no, here’s how I did it. And then all of a sudden the value opportunity becomes an educational moment, an inspirational moment for others. You’re kind of showing them, here’s all the struggle. Here’s how what I learned from it, here’s how I succeeded. You’re giving people tangible takeaways. So I think reframing that idea of self promotion can be in lots of different scales. It can be $1 million client, it can be a new job. There’s no right or wrong answer, but I think it’s just about what value are you providing? And sure, sharing a promotion is a very different category of content to maybe sharing like, oh, I just want $100 million client. But I think reframing that and putting yourself in the shoes of your community or the people who are reading or your intended audience who are reading your post, I think that can help you kind of feel like, okay, does this come across in a great way? Or does it come across as I’m just bragging? And if it comes across as quite literally like, I’m the best, everyone sucks.
[00:06:29] Rosie Chong: Maybe that’s not the right tone, especially if you think about, I think people struggle with finding the tone of voice online. For me, I think about it, if I were sitting down at coffee with one friend or my one ideal client, how would I speak to them? I’m probably going to be. For me personally, it’s quite fun. It’s casual, it’s entertaining. That’s my tone of voice online. So that’s how I find the authenticity piece that ties into every piece of content, especially when it comes to those self promotion pieces, because I know that’s something I struggle with is this idea of I’m not worthy. I have nothing to sell. There’s someone better than me. I almost don’t want to because that tall poppy syndrome, the self doubt is creeping in. But if you really think about it, you know, think about your tone of voice. Think about what value you’re providing, who are you providing it. And having that clarity, I think, can really help find more excitement when we are needing to self promote, whether it’s promoting your own business, promoting or celebrating a win, whatever it is.
[00:07:22] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: I love that. And you also gave an example of, you know, you could say something like, oh, I had this great success after years of, of trying and this is how I did it, which almost to me, it’s kind of like you’re bringing storytelling into the equation. So I’m wondering, how can storytelling help make self promotion feel more natural?
[00:07:38] Rosie Chong: I think at the end of the day, when people realize that there is only one of them, they’ve only had their one journey. Sure, maybe they’ve had the same job title as a million other people, but they’re the only person with their upbringing, their experiences, their specific experiences of job titles, you know, bosses, meetings, colleagues, whatever it is, that’s where your authenticity comes through. And that’s where that storytelling piece, I think really shines. And I think in a world of AI and not knowing what’s real and what’s fake, I think having that authentic storytelling piece can just make it feel more human. It can help people connect with it more. And I think when people connect with it more, they’re more likely to follow or stick around, and that message resonates and stays with them rather than something that feels very tip of the iceberg of just like I won $1 million client. Best day ever. Woo hoo! For some in that inner circle, it might be like, oh yes, I love seeing my friend win. That’s so awesome. But if you want to start cutting through to Non-followers or a new audience or new potential clients, people who maybe don’t know you on a day to day basis, like a best friend, a colleague, even someone from university that you were in classes with.
[00:08:46] Rosie Chong: You need to give them more reason to stay, more reason to want to read, to watch, to follow, to stick around. And that’s where that storytelling piece kind of connects every single dot, because a personal brand or a piece of content is more than just one post. I think having that storytelling is that connective tissue in, I guess, the greater piece of a personal brand. And I think we’ll bring out naturally a lot more authenticity rather than just I got promoted. Okay, cool. What else is there to you, especially for someone who really cares about curating a personal brand? It’s a different kind of category for someone who’s, you know, very casual on LinkedIn or online or in the world of personal branding, where they might maybe just there to share that they got a job, it’s not that deep for them. And that’s okay.
[00:09:32] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: Absolutely. You know, I was just thinking for some people who are introverted or more reserved, just personality wise, some of this personal branding stuff will be particularly challenging, will feel counterintuitive to them. Are there particular promotion strategies that might tend to work best for someone who’s more naturally introverted?
[00:09:52] Rosie Chong: I think for those people who are a little bit more introverted or a bit more nervous to put themselves out there is if you’re wanting to do it in content, it’s always going to be scary. I think that’s just that’s part of it. You just accept that it’s going to be scary, and sometimes that can be hitting posts and closing the tab and you just need to run away and that’s fine. I think if you want to stay in posting content regularly, stick with a format that doesn’t feel as intrusive, I guess, or as exposure therapy in a way. And that can be literally, maybe you’re meant to be writing blogs. You can take the time, you can edit, you can curate it. It’s not necessarily going to send a live notification in a feed like it would on a LinkedIn post or in a TikTok feed. You could have a blog, and that feels like a little bit more of a one sided kind of way of posting. It’s like, great, I’m going to post it. I’m not really watching the likes come through the comments, and that can be a little bit less intimidating. And then just, I would say text posting in general. So obviously it’s a little bit more live if you’re doing it on LinkedIn compared to say like a blog on your website, people are often on the feed.
[00:10:51] Rosie Chong: It’s being updated. Some people will have the notification bell when you’ve posted, but even then, sharing a text post format or a newsletter and LinkedIn can feel a little less scary than maybe posting a video where you’re talking and your mannerisms are on show and your voice and your personality. You’re going to text post. Same thing. You can spend the time curating it. You can write it in your tone of voice, whatever that looks like, whether it’s formal or casual. And I think that can also be a little less intimidating. And then even taking a step back kind of kind of step between the blog and like full blown out social media posts is even just practice in the comment section. I said this in another episode where the power of commenting can still be a form of posting that people often forget about. It can help you build connections. It can help you build a you know that’s safe in a circle. That’s one way it could then help you find your tone of voice. You can be practicing with the language that you want to use.
[00:11:44] Rosie Chong: Do you like emojis? Do you prefer long format? Do you want it to be very, you know, technical in your responses? Do you want it to be more casual in your your language. That can be a really good way to ease into it without it feeling as scary as, you know, a 20 minute YouTube video going live on TikTok. There’s so many different sides of the scale. It doesn’t have to be all one end of it. So I think those can be some ways to, to practice. And then I think the last tip is if you’re feeling a little bit nervous, introverted is start with your trusted inner circle. Maybe it’s literally a group chat with your colleagues or your best friends say, hey, I’m thinking of doing a post. What do you guys think of this? Or when I post it, would you guys mind interacting with it just to get yourself a little bit of a hype circle? I think having that trusted inner circle supporting you as well can just help ease into it of like, okay, if I got one like, and it was from my mum, that’s fine. It kind of relinquishes the scariness of it sometimes.
[00:12:39] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: That was Rosie Chong, personal branding strategist.
How to prevent burnout and overwhelm
Now we’re switching gears to examine the overachievers cycle of burnout. Many high performers pride themselves on pushing through, but that constant drive can come at a cost. Over time, it can lead to overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout. So how do you stay ambitious without running yourself into the ground? Fleur Marks is a leadership trainer and performance mindset coach. She’s also author of the new book The Overachievers Reset. In her book, Fleur talks about what she calls the overachievers cycle. I kicked off the interview by asking, what is that cycle and why do so many high performers get trapped in it without realizing?
[00:13:24] Fleur Marks: The overachiever cycle is something that I’ve coined? There’s three steps, and it starts with your belief system. So what drives you? Then it moves into your patterns of behavior. So what pushes you to act in a certain way? And then the last step is around the costs of those behaviors. And it’s a cycle because once you’re on it, it’s very hard to see you’re on it and get out of the trap. And the reason why many of us don’t see it is because society and achievement rewards us, but I’ll just talk you through what each of the. The parts of the cycle are. So the most important part, certainly for me and my journey was around the belief system. So looking at what was driving my overachievement, what was the cause of me achieving at the cost of me? And those beliefs are what run the show. So for me, I’m not enough as pretty much I haven’t done enough, I’m not enough and I don’t have enough. And so within those beliefs, there’s other ones that tend to show up like perfectionism. For many overachievers, getting it always perfect. People pleasing. I better not let everyone down. Me last or proving your enoughness and then performing.
[00:14:32] Fleur Marks: So those are kind of core. There’s five beliefs that sit in the overachievers cycle. And then the second stage is the patterns of behavior. So those are the things that are you say to yourself, belief might be I’m not enough. So your action might be that you need to prove to everyone that you are enough. So you might have incredibly high standards. You need to make sure that everything is extraordinary or it’s not good enough. And unless it’s extraordinary, you feel like you’re failing. And so those are the patterns of behavior. It’s that staying late at work, or it might be doing some in a deal making where you say to yourself, as an overachiever, I just need to work late or I just need to get this project done and then I’ll take care of me. And you sort of do these inner deals where you’re constantly pushing yourself to achieve. Or another good one is what I call swanning, where you’re pretending everything’s fine, yet you’re drowning in overwhelm, where you’re being more duck, like you’re paddling like crazy underneath. So those are kind of the patterns. And you fall into the patterns of behavior because your beliefs are driving that. And then the last one is the costs.
[00:15:40] Fleur Marks: And these can often be quite silent ones that you do a bit of inner questioning with yourself. And these are things like emotional numbness. So when you achieve whatever that thing is, you don’t feel the same dopamine hit that you did last time. Or it could be around decision fatigue that you’re, you’re pushing yourself through so hard that you actually can’t make a decision. You just sort of it’s a bit of a fog. Or it could be things like relationship erosion, where you leave your loved ones to last because you’re in the pursuit of achieving. Or another one that’s quite classic for overachievers is the identity crisis where you’re so attached to your outcomes that who are you without your achieving that, that without achieving and doing nothing feels terrifying. And that is a cycle that we just hop on as overachievers. Our society and those of us who love high performers reward us for it, and we get validated and we get valued for it. So we don’t realize that often there’s a better way that you can achieve, not at the cost of you, or sustain it in a way that’s more, I guess, allowing you to show up Philly.
[00:16:50] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: I feel like this is going to be so relatable to so many listeners and I must admit, relatable to myself as well. But I do know that being a bit of a perfectionist overachiever myself, I think a lot of us sort of might think, but my drive is what made me successful. So my question is, how do you keep ambition and excellent without tipping into burnout?
[00:17:08] Fleur Marks: Yes. Great question, and it is ambition is not the enemy here. And as an overachiever yourself, the worst thing I could say to you is to slow down or stop, you know, because that’s not what’s driving you. Your drive is the ambition piece. And that’s a healthy, uh, part of you that’s worked for you so far. The problem is us not recognizing when we tip into achieving at the cost of us. So where we achieve and put ourselves as the, I guess, the price of that achievement. And there’s a difference between high performance achievement and high impact achievement and so often high performance achievers or overachievers are very much about this relentless pace. They’re about doing more, constantly pushing, almost leaving themselves to last, or forgetting that there’s this like this invincibility that we believe we have within us. But it’s not true because we do have limits mentally, emotionally, and physically. And so high impact is where we’re a lot more intentional about how we show up, that we understand that rest is strategic, that being present actually makes us a better leader, not the pursuit of the next thing. And so it’s this balance between understanding that my ambition matters and achieving is where I seek my value, but also knowing that in order to sustain the pace, I need to be really intentional about where I deliver my most value or results. Because trying to do everything is probably not a sustainable strategy. And it’s a battle.
[00:18:50] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: Absolutely. One of the ideas flow that you touched on before is this kind of untangling identity from achievement, which can be really hard when we start to kind of we get so used to like doing the most and getting these great results and winning, you know, awards and doing well. And we start to think, who am I without that? Why is it so easy for high performers to tie their self-worth to results and what shifts when they break that link?
[00:19:13] Fleur Marks: It’s an interesting one. And neuroscience, cause what you’re talking about identity fusion, it’s where you can’t separate who you are from what you do. So, you know, if we go back to the example of what drove me. One of my beliefs that drove me, I’ve got many, but one of them was, I’m never enough or I’ve never done enough or it’s never good enough. And so what happens is that I almost prove to myself when I do, do you know, achieve beyond the extraordinary. And I get praised and I get promoted and I get rewarded on my awards or whatever for it. That’s almost like the self-fulfilling value system that kicks in and it happens in the brain. Uh, particularly, we get like a little hit and then we want more of that. We want more of that achievement feeling and what happens or what you see, particularly when life happens or like redundancies are pretty rife right now. Or, you know, if something happens in your health or to your business, where things are out of your control, is that you don’t know who you are when you lose, that identity is so attached to your outcomes. And so for me, it was really understanding that my self-worth when you break that tie does not actually equate to my value. The outcomes do not equal me being enough. And I asked myself this, or one of my coaches at the time asked me a question. You know what? If you’d done enough or you felt enough already. And for me, that was a question I had to sit with and truly own, because that’s not a natural overachievers way of being. What if I’ve done enough already? What? I don’t even know. That’s like another language. So I think it’s really understanding that you’re not a machine. Uh, you’re not a human doing, uh, that you’re actually a human being and understanding the difference between who you are as a person and what you bring to the moment, to whatever you, you bring value as you are versus having to prove your identity or prove your value by your outcomes. Does that make sense?
[00:21:24] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: Mhm. Absolutely. Yeah. Look, I think it’s really wise and quite and quite inspiring if I can say that. I wonder what is one practical reset that leaders can start today if they feel caught in relentless striving? Like, where do you start with this stuff? Because it feels huge sometimes to untangle.
[00:21:40] Fleur Marks: Yeah it does. And it’s easier to keep doing what you’re doing than to Change, right? So for me, I think it’s a practical reset. So I would catch myself. So if there’s lots of perfectionist listeners or pleasers, it’s that moment when you say yes, when you really want to say no, there’s like an inner feeling that pops up like a sinking, that that would be a moment where I’d catch my response. And I think bringing your self awareness to your behavior and then sitting with, you know, okay, I said yes, but actually what’s really driving that is that me wanting to be liked or have a sense of belonging and then name it. So just being able to name it in that moment, I’ll look at me here I am saying yes because I want everyone to love me or feel like I’m valuable. And then being able to accept that that’s something you might want to work on. And then thinking about, okay, next time, what could be my response? So when someone asks me to do something, I know I’m a natural pleaser. What could I say instead? And actually being able to catch it, notice it, name it to tame it, and then understand what’s sitting underneath. It is probably where the first piece of work to bring your attention to understanding that overachievers cycle is probably where I would start, because then if you understand the cycle, then you can sort of start to think about, well, where do I see that pattern of behavior or what’s driving me causing, you know, this ultimate cost or this feeling of, oh, gee, I wish I said no. And now I’m working late because I said yes. And I can’t see my family tonight or whatever it might have been the cost that you decide. And so I think it’s just really daily resets and daily catching, but really working on the mindset stuff first is where I got the greatest gains.
[00:23:30] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: My last question, I suppose, which is also about a mindset reset to some extent, is what does a healthier definition of success actually look like in practice?
[00:23:40] Fleur Marks: A healthier definition of success? Now, this is my interpretation and everyone’s got their own interpretation. Uh, for me, a healthier definition of success is when I get to the end of the week, the month or the year, and I don’t go, that was a blur. And I actually have taken time where I’ve been quite intentional about creating space in my day, my week, or my month or year for that matter, where I’ve taken care of me on the way. And that doesn’t mean big holidays or grand gestures. This is more like being really intentional around, okay, I’ve got a big day today. How can I set myself up to sustain the pace and be able to deliver well? Or that means I need to take ten minute break, or I need to do something that’s going to fill my cup today, or what can I do that’s actually going to allow me to really show up in the moments that matter as, as I, rather than try to set myself up with back to back meetings all day or not skip lunch because I think I haven’t got time. But actually, how can I understand what it looks like for me to be operating in my high impact state? And then actually, what are the little practices I can do each day? Because as soon as you make those micro shifts, they actually add up over time to great gains.
[00:24:59] Fleur Marks: And then the other bit for me, that is so important, which I didn’t do a lot of until I did the reset for myself was a really choosing conscious joy. So finding a moment each day to have a little bit of lightness or a little bit of play or do something that fills your cup, uh, because that allows you to show up more fully for others. Uh, as my daughter says, you have to be self full to be selfless. And there’s something in that when you take care of you that it sort of ripples out to others, but also you have more to give. And so for me, a healthier definition of success is where you take care of you in a way that’s sustainable, that it’s not boom busting, you know, overachieving and then collapsing. It’s actually going, what does that look like? A small steps. And when you do wobble off just having a daily reset to go, okay, how can I do better tomorrow? What can I do differently? How can I create a little bit of space so I can show up in a way that I intend to?
[00:25:59] Host – Grace Jennings-Edquist: That was leadership trainer, performance mindset coach and author Fleur Marks. Thanks for joining us for this week’s episode. Follow Business Essentials Podcast across social media and head to www.BusinessEssentialsPodcast.au for more. Business Essentials is a SoundCartel podcast. Producers are Nick Schildberger, Nicole Goodman and myself. Technical production is by Pete Letts. I’m Grace Jennings-Edquist thanks for listening. We’ll bring you more business essentials next week.
